MindMatters

For those of you who have checked out my About LeeAnne  page, you might remember that I briefly refer to being raised by a combination of one parent with a mental illness and one who is ‘healthy’.  What I didn’t get into specifically, was that in that context I was referring to the absence of a specific mental illness (vs. my preferred definition of healthy – meaning balance).

The reality was that in spite of my father successfully juggling full time bread winning with full time parenting, he did not ever really embrace the reality that my mothers illness and resulting bizarre behaviours were beyond her control.  In short, he was never really ‘a believer’.  The combination of my mothers unmedicated (and often abusive) behaviours and my fathers inability to cope with them proved to be lethal for their marriage.  He is now remarried and my mother has embarked on a 20+ year  roller coaster ride in and out of temporary facilities.

My fathers belief system surrounding my mothers illness, basically, is this: She is clever and manipulative.  She chooses to be ill when it suits her.  Which then leads to the advice that I should extricate myself from her life or she will ruin me (more on that another time).

Recently my father was presented with the reality of an impending similar diagnosis of his grandson.  His (amended)  response to this was that he has never believed there has been a genetic or chemical component to mental illness.  Period.  And that schizophrenia, specifically,  is a learned behaviour.  My personal reactions to this statement aside, the experience brings me to an issue that many people who are touched in one way or another by mental illness unfortunately struggle with.

….the inability to be able to rely on loved ones for support…..

When this is the reality, we can find ourselves floundering around for months or even years in attempt after failed attempt to find a confident who just might be able to understand where we are coming from.   Consumers (as one society I belonged to refers to those with a diagnosis) can experience an increase in severity and or frequency of symptoms while they struggle with trying to cope emotionally with the illness on their own.  Caregivers can find themselves descending further and further into depressive states under the burden of being the ‘giver’ and never having their own support outlet.

This does not have to be the case.  There ARE ways to build support networks that will include people who actually get their experiences. Here are some ideas;

• Local Mental Health Services often have intake workers that can provide assistance to consumers and their caregivers in building support networks.  The easiest way to find a number for the local mental health clinic would be to call the hospital directly and ask for a number.  Depending upon where you live, the phone book listing might be in the white pages, the blue pages, listed in the emergency numbers or at the beginning of the listings for your own city.

• Look up societies that have been developed around the specific (or similar) mental illness.  Examples of this include Friends of Schizophrenics and the Schizophrenia Society of Canada (which, incidentally, also deals with those suffering from bipolar disorder).  Some societies offer free membership to consumers and only minimal membership fees for caregivers and other family and friends.  Google the name of the illness followed by ’society’ and see what pops up.

• Check with the local hospital social worker or mental health clinic to see if there are any support groups already organized in your community.  If not, you could consider starting one yourself if you have the energy.  Again, mental health clinics can sometimes provide some guidance around how to go about this and may even offer up a practicum student to assist in the start up process.

• If you are REALLY brave, you could check out online support groups.  One warning – be careful about how much personal information you share. While there are some online support groups that are closed, many are open to anyone to pop in and lurk about.  Also be very careful about carrying on personal connections made in these groups into the real world.  It is generally best to keep online connections within the online community.  Don’t give out personal phone numbers, cell numbers, addresses etc (online groups often have these rules in place anyway) and be very cautious about sharing real life pictures.  Just my 2 cents here.

• In Alberta there is a Mental Health Help Line (1-877-303-2642).  Check with your local hospital to see if there is a city, provincial, state or country wide helpline available in your area.  These generally operate 24 hours a day - which is perfect, since the worst always seems to happen after business hours or on weekends.

These are just a few ways one can start to build up a support network.  If anyone else out there has suggestions, experiences with support networks or feedback on the topic, I welcome you to share your comments.

Until next time,
LeeAnne.

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